Count Binface has offered Nigel Farage some advice for the unlikely event he loses Thursday’s Clacton byelection: take the £5 million sitting in the bank and visit a Ferrari showroom.
The line came during Binface’s appearance on The Independent’s In The Room podcast, interviewed by former senior civil servant Helen MacNamara and former Conservative adviser Cleo Watson. Asked what Farage should do if Clacton produced a major upset, Binface replied: “If I was him and I had £5 million quid of unconditional gift sitting in the bank and I wasn’t a member of Parliament, I would excuse him going straight off to the nearest Ferrari showroom.” He added: “The guy would need a bit of retail therapy, right?”
The joke refers to the £5m Farage received from crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne before entering Parliament in 2024, money that later became the subject of a Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards investigation after Farage didn’t register it on becoming an MP. Farage maintains he complied with the rules and that it was a private gift received before his election. The investigation paused when he resigned and could restart if he wins the seat back, and according to recent reporting, some of Farage’s own advisers didn’t initially realise the inquiry could resume at all.
The serious point behind the affordable-home joke
The Ferrari line was the sharpest jab at Farage, but most of the interview covered Binface’s own manifesto, including his promise to build “at least one” affordable home. The deliberately tiny target is a dig at successive governments announcing ambitious housebuilding programmes and then failing to deliver them. “It’s about time one politician under-promised and over-delivered,” Binface said.
MacNamara noted that Shelter believes England needs 90,000 new social homes a year for a decade. Binface said he backed that goal, describing homelessness as a cause close to his “central fluid pumping organ.” He also proposed letting the Royal Family keep one palace and converting the others into shelters and refuges. “How dare that one family have something like six or seven giant palaces on the British taxpayer? What a symbol it would be to the world if they gave up Buckingham Palace.”
Not a policy heading for a Treasury spending review any time soon, but it’s the same formula that’s made this campaign work better than the usual novelty candidacy: absurd headline pledge, real problem underneath it.
A price cap for the 99 Flake
Binface also defended his proposed 99p price cap on 99 Flakes, which run several times that in plenty of seaside towns now. MacNamara warned it could produce a “stealth tax” on raspberry sauce or hundreds and thousands. Binface immediately ruled that out. He’d previously proposed caps on croissants and Wigan kebabs, he said, but wouldn’t extend the policy to Freddos, Chomps, Space Raiders or anything else indiscriminately. “If I started price-capping every commodity, people would think I’m out of my mind.” The 99 Flake pledge also featured in his musical election broadcast, alongside promises to spend more time in Clacton than Washington DC and reject £5m gifts from crypto billionaires.
The hand dryer campaign continues
No Binface interview is complete without his running battle against badly positioned hand dryers, a fixture across several of his campaigns. He backed the idea of an all-party parliamentary group looking into their placement in pubs and restaurants, singling out one specific installation at a Southport restaurant. “There are going to be human males air-frying their genitals every night. It’s disgraceful. It needs to change.”
The interview also ran a political quickfire round. Jaffa Cake was his favourite biscuit, chosen specifically because its disputed cake-or-biscuit status let him present himself as “a unifier.” He can’t eat a bacon sandwich, he said, but could vaporise one with a laser and inhale the fumes. Asked for the naughtiest thing he’s ever done, he confessed to running through “fields of cyber wheat” twice. Star Wars and Star Trek got described as “excellent documentaries,” and a question about Groucho from Sesame Street ended with Binface correctly pointing out the character is actually called Oscar the Grouch.
Farage remains the overwhelming favourite
Whatever attention Binface has pulled, the actual constituency polling still points to a comfortable Farage win. Survation interviewed 502 Clacton adults between 16 and 24 July. Once undecideds were stripped out, Farage stood at 73%, Binface at 20%. In a hypothetical two-way contest, Farage led 69% to 31%.
There are another 32 names on the ballot, a field of 34 believed to be the largest ever assembled for a UK parliamentary election, after Labour, the Conservatives, Lib Dems and Greens all sat it out. Farage’s likely return to Westminster on Thursday. The real question for Reform is how convincing that win actually looks, after a month where a man in a bin has secured international coverage, published a manifesto, and repeatedly produced the campaign’s most memorable moments.
Binface has already sat down with Rory Stewart and Alastair Campbell for an interview that turned Farage’s campaign into another extended punchline, been covered by broadcasters overseas, and had residents filmed shouting his name at Farage while he canvassed.
‘Vote for the bin, not the rubbish’
The latest interview brought another wave of support. @mugepurvis2955: “I hope Clacton votes for the bin, not the rubbish.” @Bev_Crusher reduced the whole campaign to two words: “Bindependence Day.” @FaustinoMarseglia: “Count Binface has more integrity than Farage. I’m with him all the way.” @dalealewis: “When a bin promotes the area you used to represent better than you, it’s time to rethink your career in politics.” @CorvusCorax called it “the dawn of binocracy,” while @hhKJgf1M8a0rzt8hP offered a new slogan: “Vote for the CAN, not for the CON!”
Farage is expected to win on 13 August. Binface has openly acknowledged he probably will. That hasn’t stopped him turning what should’ve been a straightforward return to Parliament into a nationally watched contest where Farage’s most recognisable opponent is running on social housing, royal property and affordable ice cream.
Should the polling prove spectacularly wrong, Farage now knows exactly where to go afterwards. The nearest Ferrari dealership should probably expect a customer.
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